Sean Hannity Gets Jealous Of "Liberal Fantasy, Whack Job, System-Draining, Job-Dodging, Draft-Dodging, Left-Leaning, Bullet- Dodging, Mamma's Boy, Fake, Delusional, Slick-Haired, Hollywood-Based Cinegeoff Podcast. Says They Probably Don't Know How to Fire a Gun Or Even Intimidate A Co Anchor With One".

Staunch Nationalist Donald Trump Dubbed America's Biggest Jewish Mother By Many Unofficial Sources

After United States President Donald Trump reached out to Chinese President Xi Jinping to free three UCLA basketball Freshman basketball players LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill who were being detained in China for allegedly shoplifting, he tweeted,

"Do you think the three UCLA Basketball Players will say thank you President Trump? They were headed for 10 years in jail!"

This statement alone confirmed what many had thought for a long time, that Donald Trump is many things, but he is also the world's biggest guilt-inducing, passive aggressive, attention-seeking Jewish grandmother.

"I love the Jews," Trump has been heard as saying several times before in his career.

Throughout his career and especially during his reign as the 45th Present of the United States, Donald Trump has gotten what he wants by making people guilty and making himself seem like the victim.

Cinegeoff Podcast Was Touched By: Harvey Weinstein

Crooked Hillary Really Loved Cinegeoff Podcast, Emails Show. .

The Candy Man, Beetle Juice, and Bloody Mary Just Got Together and Said "Cinegeoff Podcast" Three Times.

Trump's Late Night Heckling Gets Tepid Review From Sleazy Regulars

Patrons at a dirty theatre in a dirty part of town overheard President Donald Trump heckling a dirty film the other night. They were not necessarily impressed.

“I mean, I get the whole ‘locker room talk’ thing, I really do man, and I support it. But this was like at two in the morning, one guy had his johnson in his hand, another guy was making a squishy sound,” said a man in attendance who preferred anonymity.

“I look back and I see what very much looks like Donald Trump with his secret service in the third row from the back. I see him put some tic tacs in his mouth, and he starts swirling them around in his mouth, getting all worked up, you know. And he starts saying stuff like, “Yeah, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I don’t care if you’re married, I really don’t.”

“Yeah, I get it, he’s the dirty, dirty president, period!” Said Bob Johnny Denesavich, another man in attendance who didn’t care if anyone knew his name.

“Party party! It’s cool, he’s always trying to be one of the guys, yahoo. But like, let me giz in some sort of serenity. But, if you are going to heckel a dirty movie, make it original!”

“I already knew that he got his rocks off taking married women furniture shopping and all that. Big whoop man, why don’t you take my ass shopping for some new clothes and a new apartment, you know, now that would be really hot! Otherwise, shut up!”

Another man was equally underwhelmed by the President’s appearance.  

“I know it sounds weird, but I am actually one of the ones who listens to the dialogue in these movies. It’s hard man. You wanna try writing a dirty movie?! I’ve tried it, It’s hard. Respect the writers. I’ll march in the writer’s strike, I was going to with the first writer’s strike, but they just simply didn’t tell me where it was going to be on time. .  .  “

All in all, Trump received a very tepid response to his heckling efforts at the theatre. Some of the patrons wanted their money back, but Devesavich had a better idea. “Yeah, why don’t he just invite everyone from the theatre that night and rescreen that same movie in the White House theatre. . And that there Ivanka could be the cocktail waitress, ha ha ha! I think that would be the best way to  uh . . . resolve the situation.”

When asked to comment on what actually happened that night at the dirty theater, Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee had this to say, “I honestly don’t see anything to defend, the President is doing a great job and he is under a lot of stress. Let’s get real, he did what most men do when they are under stress, he went to a dirty theatre and he talked dirty to it. Bill Clinton did naughty things under the desk at the white house, our president has the decency to take it to the red light district, you know!"


This Is Where I Leave You

Director: Shawn Levy

Lead Actors: Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, Timothy Oliphant, Adam Driver, Jane Fonda, Rose Byrne

Producer: Jesse Ehrman

Plot Synopsis
This movie is based on a novel by Jonathon Tropper, who also wrote the screenplay.

It follows the Altman family after the death of its patriarch. The four Altman siblings and their mother, played wonderfully by Jane Fonda, are left to deal with the aftermath, and each other. To complicate things, Fonda's Hilary Altman insists that the Altma's sit through the seven days of Shiva. She says it was her husband's dying wish.

This makes things interesting because the Altmans, who love each other very much, don't sit around and do nothing very well. While they are "sitting" back in their hometown (a generic, small east coast town from all I could tell) old flames are re-united, inter-sibling conflicts are revisited and, of course, secrets are revealed.

There is a lot going on, and focus is not this movie's strong point, but it does manage to follow Jason Bateman's Judd Altman the closest. We meet him as a non-smiling producer of a radio show, "Man Up", and quickly witness him being cuckolded in the worst way (he comes home to his wife having rough sex with his boss as hip hop music blares on the stereo).

When Judd goes back home he is able to reacquaint himself with his own strengths and weaknesses and also try to figure out why things ended up the way they did for him.

Intersecting through all of that are the lives of Wendy Altman (played beautifully by Tina Fey) - who is a loveable, strong presence who was very clearly toughened up at an early age in an all-male family.

Fey, who was the first ever female head writer at Saturday Night Live, seemed to fit very naturally in this scenario as she slaps, kicks, bites and lovingly insults with the best of them. In a touching scene, Adam Driver's Philip Altman credits Wendy for being the glue to their brood, a compliment she gladly accepts.

Philip is admittedly a jack ass and an ass-man all tied up into one who didn't seem to get the focus, discipline or work ethic embodied by his two oldest siblings. He shows up late to his own father's funeral in a Porsche, cussing as he runs up the hill to join the ceremony.

Cory Stoll does a good job of playing the stronger, less interesting Paul Altman who inherited his father's hardware store.

Circling around the loving family circus that is the Altman's is an even bigger cast of characters. They all seem to be attracted to the legendary dysfunction of the Altmans. In one scene Paul Altman has sex with his wife who yearns to be pregnant and it is broadcast into a full living via a baby monitor. Rather than turn it down, Philip turns the sounds of carnal fun UP for the very full living room of visitors to enjoy.

One notable standout in the supporting cast is Rose Byrne, who plays an ice-skating underachiever who never stopped loving Judd Altman. Byrne hides some of her innate beauty in this role, but bubbles with charm, and could easily be a character in a John Hughes movie from the 80s.

Who Would Like it and Why
Fans of Tina Fey.
She is beginning to really turn in some huge performances that are more dramatic than comedic, and she's doing a great job at it.

Fans of Jason Bateman will enjoy another understated and subtle performance. I especially enjoyed a scene where he confronts his cheating wife against a back drop of fall colors. Fans of Timothy Olyphant. Olyphant shines here as a brain damaged friend of the family and former lover of Wendy.

Who Might not Like it and Why
The movie lacks focus and goes all over the place too often. The audience is asked to fall in love with a rabbi whom everyone refers to as "Boner" and was also a contemporary of the family, but his character is underdeveloped. There were enough plots and subplots for twenty movies here.

Highlights/Top Scenes
The acting was so strong for each character that I would gladly watch each character's story play out individually in more focused two-hour vignettes.

Dax Sheppard plays the man who cuckolds Bateman. This scene is probably one of the most intense in the whole movie, as Bateman's hearing goes out once he realizes what's happened.

The ice skating scenes with the beautiful Byrne are magical and hopefully another movie in and of themselves. I also enjoyed a site gag where Hilary Altman's boobs keep popping out of her dress while she makes Judd's bed with him.

Two Mike and Ikes.

Cinegeoff Podcast Decides Against Inviting Donald Trump On Their Show...Fearing Atomic Levels of Level 5 Inappropriateness

The Cinegeoff Podcast, who let's face it, talks about Trump more than Justin Beiber and Sofia Vergara put together, considered inviting Trump to be a guest on their show at their studios in Burbank. Then they reconsidered. Here's the story of how it all went down:

The Cinegeoff Podcast, in the past, has interviewed luminaries like alien expert Stanton Friedman and superstar comedienne Alex Powers, as well as former child stars and people sitting next to them at the McDonalds where they sometimes record their podcasts.

But, suffice it to say that the Cinegeoff Podcast is always looking to up their interview game. Every week or so, they meet together to discuss what kind of guests they might want to book on their show.

“When we make our list of potential interviewees, we make a very big and enticing list, you know, like people Oprah and Piers Morgan would be going after, because, why not,” said Geoffrey Altrocchi, a co founder of the Cinegeoff Podcast.

Altrocchi and his partner Ty Mclemore figure that their easy-going, jocular style along with the fact that they don’t have an axe to grind with anyone, would make their podcast format attractive to … well...anyone...or as Gary Oldman would put it . . .

“Who wouldn’t want to get their version of their story out in their own way, while telling jokes and stories and relaxing and enjoying themselves?” Mclemore said, noting to Altrocchi that they should get ahold of Caitlynn Jenner’s people.

But, on a slow Tuesday afternoon when the biggest “get”, the biggest name who everyone is after, President Donald Trump was mentioned, there was an awkward pause in the Cinegeoff Podcast boardroom.

“I remember the first thing Mclemore said after Donald Trump’s name was mentioned was “my mother sometimes listens to this podcast,” Altrocchi said.

Mclemore and Altrocchi are not beholden to any one agenda or any level of decency or indecency on their podcast. But as they started talking more about it, they realized that they both were worried about Donald Trump’s uncanny ability to make any situation inappropriate and awkward.

“And we love awkward over here,” Altrocchi said. “Awkward makes for good podcasting, but Trump just has this ability to say things you wouldn’t even say at a friend’s home, in his sound-proof garage, after doing eight lines of coke, with the television playing loudly, in a foreign language that no one else understood! I mean, he says things that wouldn’t even pass in Charlie Sheen’s limo at five in the morning, after the angels have passed out, or like the Raider’s locker room, or even a Rammstein production meeting!”

“I mean, I used to work construction and we wouldn’t go within ten miles of some of the things Trump says,” Altrocchi said, visibly upset and blushing. "A lot of those construction guys are decent, god-fearing men who love their mammas and who love their wives!"

Mclemore added with a smile, “I don’t even mind if he wants to grab this podcast by the p***sy. But if he starts talking about how hot his daughter is or how he’d like to, you know...excuse me,” Mclemore was unable to finish his sentence as he ran to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth.

“Yeah, I just think that Courtney Love, or someone like that, Madonna, you know, Caitlynn Jenner, anyone of those people would be much better guests because we don’t have showers in the Cinegeoff Podcast studios, and Donald Trump makes me want to take a shower after he talks,”  Alltrocchi said.


Director: Lars Von Trier

Lead Actors: 

Producer: Jessica Ask

Plot Synopsis: A man trapped in his own foggy musings, finds a woman injured and catching hypothermia in the streets near his home.

He picks her up and takes her into his home, and nurses her back to health. He asks her what got her into this predicament, and she insists that she's a bad person.

Unimpressed, Skarsgard's Seligman delves further into Gainsbourg's Joe's past for some inkling as to what happened to her, and quite possibly for some company. What he finds is that Joe has a cold cut case of Nymphomania.

Who Would Like it and Why
Those who are attracted to good writing. Never boring, Von Triers starts this escapade off with a rousing number by none other than kinky German metal band Romstein - heavy metal guitars blazing.

This perhaps sets the tone for a bumpy ride, as we go back and revisit Joe's life and attempt to fully comprehend full-fledged nymphomania from a nearly clinical standpoint.

The best writing comes out in the dialogue between the docile but highly intellectual Seligman, and the dauntless and catty Joe. Seligman, during many points of their conversation compares Joe's sexual forays to the breeding rituals of northern American trout.

These segments are quite endearing and funny. Seligman's scientific musings attempt to add pacing, ritual and meaning to Joe's raucous, wild sexual world.

Also, if you are a fan of good, surprising performances, definitely key into this movie. Trouble-making actor Shia LaBeouf  dazzles in his portrayal of a young, moped-fixing English lad who steals the virginity from a younger Joe. Then we meet him later in life when Joe, quite accidentally, stumbles into a company that LaBeouf 's Jerome runs to apply for a job!

Jerome, we find out, turns out to be the only man that Joe ever truly loves throughout all her legendary sexcapades.

The chemistry between LaBeouf and Stacy Martin, who seductively plays the young Joe, is great. During one scene in particular Joe, who is Jerome's assistant and secretary, asks to park a car that Jerome cannot seem to manage to park into a tight spot on the side of a busy street in what I think is London.

Jerome reluctantly lets her, and Joe parks it flawlessly. This infuriates the already prideful Jerome. Joe smiles lightly. This is a typical moment in their budding, innocent relationship and is refreshing amid all of Joe's physical forays that mean nothing emotionally.

Also, in a rousing performance worthy of Oscar nomination is yet another American playing an Englishman. This time it's Christian Slater, who plays Joe's father and a physician who later dies a  painful and tragically early death from dementia.

Slater is a wonderfully calming influence for the very intense and mixed up Joe. One of my favorite scenes is when we first meet Slater as the father and he is walking a young Joe into the woods. Given Joe's disposition, it would be easy to assume that her father molested her.

Not so! Rather what follows is an incredibly tender scene wherein Joe's father teaches her about the trees in the forest, and the shapes of their leaves.

Most notably, he points out the leave of the ash tree and tells the fable behind why the ash tree is shaped and colored the way that it is. This observing of the wonderful trees in English forests becomes the foundation of their relationship up until Joe's father's death. Trees and leaves, and in particular a book that she and her father made, become one of the few sources of solace in Joe's turbulent life.

This entire relationship, again, is played out with Oscar-level precision and softness with Christian Slater and Stacy Martin.

Martin, who is in the bulk of this first movie, does a great job portraying the conflicted Joe. She manages to be incredibly lovely and sultry and pretty during sex and seduction scenes, but she is also incredibly compassionate towards her father and helpless against the love she has for Jerome. Martin gets an A+.

Then comes an amazingly rousing and comedic scene from none other than blonde bombshell Uma Thurman. Yet another American actor stealing a role back from the English who seem to be taking a lot of work from Americans lately in film and television.

Thurman plays a wife who has been cuckolded by the frisky Joe, who in her early 20s sometimes slept with eight different men . . . wait for it . . . in one night! Thurman's Mrs. H follows her husband back to Joe's bachelorette pad (if ever there was one) where Joe slept with Mrs. H's husband.

This is after Mrs. H's husband has announced that he is leaving his family for Joe. Mrs. H. takes her three kids to Joe's apartment to confront the two lovers.

Joe is aloof as she is awaiting another conquest. But Uma makes a huge display out of humiliating her husband and shaming him, and does nothing short of sitting the kids down in the bed where the infidelity happened. She then leaves, with the guilting power of a jewish mother, gasping with grief as she goes down the stairs.

I have seen Uma Thurman in at least fifteen movies, and she has never been outrightly funny to me. But in this ten minute scene, she dominated with comic sensibilities. Kudos to Von Triers for casting this statuesque American beauty as the cuckolded wife and mother of three. It was wildly entertaining.

Who Might not Like it and Why
Some might be afraid of the graphic sex scenes, which there are quite a few. Some of them involve a very naked Shia LaBeouf  who I never have and never will see as a sex symbol! I remember LaBeouf  as a teenager from the movie Holes. I feel like I have seen him grow up, but I never, ever felt the need to see him naked in a love scene, ever! His talents, I always thought, were from his quick wit and grasp of dialogue, not his grasping of the female body . . . yet I digress. . .

Von Triers, the Danish filmmaker who makes movies with the same aggression that the Denmark soccer team played soccer in the World Cup earlier this summer, is not afraid of showing how clumsy and ugly the male genitalia can be in all of it's different forms. He treats us to several interludes of Stacy Martin with her different conquests.

What I found bizarre is that Joe, in her thirst, wasn't very picky.

Many of her men were at best ugly. They all had faults like flabby or jaundiced skin. I was not sure why a woman of her beauty wouldn't have gone for more good-looking young lads. Come to think of it, LaBeouf  . . . in the buff . . .  might have been her best conquest. Now that's sad!

Ultimately, though, I think Von Triers looks at Nymphomania as a clinical condition and not some girl being a "slut" or "greedy". He shows sympathy for Joe throughout the movie.

It should be stated, too, that for Von Triers to direct a movie about this particular condition, without any sex scenes, would be idiotically prude.

Alas, Von Triers makes his points about the sex in Nymphoamina. But where his directorial brush does its best work in this movie (which by the way is the first of two) is by showing how the relationships of the protagonist made her a nymphomaniac and how her nymphomania affected others around her.

Kudos to Von Triers though for finding humor and sadness in the story of Joe and for bringing us these heart warming and tender performances.

Highlights/Top Scenes

Again, LaBeouf s advances towards Martin, and then his punishing her for not putting out, and her falling in love with his character Jerome, are all adorable. Again, Slate is on fire during every moment he is on camera. And Seligman's witticisms and intellectualizations of Joe's sexual appetite and self destructive behavior are all delicious.;

Every Von Triers movie I have seen has found humor and has had great story telling. This is no exception.

Two Mike and Ikes.