Sean Hannity Gets Jealous Of "Liberal Fantasy, Whack Job, System-Draining, Job-Dodging, Draft-Dodging, Left-Leaning, Bullet- Dodging, Mamma's Boy, Fake, Delusional, Slick-Haired, Hollywood-Based Cinegeoff Podcast. Says They Probably Don't Know How to Fire a Gun Or Even Intimidate A Co Anchor With One".



Staunch Nationalist Donald Trump Dubbed America's Biggest Jewish Mother By Many Unofficial Sources


After United States President Donald Trump reached out to Chinese President Xi Jinping to free three UCLA basketball Freshman basketball players LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill who were being detained in China for allegedly shoplifting, he tweeted,

"Do you think the three UCLA Basketball Players will say thank you President Trump? They were headed for 10 years in jail!"

This statement alone confirmed what many had thought for a long time, that Donald Trump is many things, but he is also the world's biggest guilt-inducing, passive aggressive, attention-seeking Jewish grandmother.

"I love the Jews," Trump has been heard as saying several times before in his career.

Throughout his career and especially during his reign as the 45th Present of the United States, Donald Trump has gotten what he wants by making people guilty and making himself seem like the victim.






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Trump's Late Night Heckling Gets Tepid Review From Sleazy Regulars

Patrons at a dirty theatre in a dirty part of town overheard President Donald Trump heckling a dirty film the other night. They were not necessarily impressed.


“I mean, I get the whole ‘locker room talk’ thing, I really do man, and I support it. But this was like at two in the morning, one guy had his johnson in his hand, another guy was making a squishy sound,” said a man in attendance who preferred anonymity.


“I look back and I see what very much looks like Donald Trump with his secret service in the third row from the back. I see him put some tic tacs in his mouth, and he starts swirling them around in his mouth, getting all worked up, you know. And he starts saying stuff like, “Yeah, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I don’t care if you’re married, I really don’t.”




“Yeah, I get it, he’s the dirty, dirty president, period!” Said Bob Johnny Denesavich, another man in attendance who didn’t care if anyone knew his name.


“Party party! It’s cool, he’s always trying to be one of the guys, yahoo. But like, let me giz in some sort of serenity. But, if you are going to heckel a dirty movie, make it original!”


“I already knew that he got his rocks off taking married women furniture shopping and all that. Big whoop man, why don’t you take my ass shopping for some new clothes and a new apartment, you know, now that would be really hot! Otherwise, shut up!”


Another man was equally underwhelmed by the President’s appearance.  


“I know it sounds weird, but I am actually one of the ones who listens to the dialogue in these movies. It’s hard man. You wanna try writing a dirty movie?! I’ve tried it, It’s hard. Respect the writers. I’ll march in the writer’s strike, I was going to with the first writer’s strike, but they just simply didn’t tell me where it was going to be on time. .  .  “


All in all, Trump received a very tepid response to his heckling efforts at the theatre. Some of the patrons wanted their money back, but Devesavich had a better idea. “Yeah, why don’t he just invite everyone from the theatre that night and rescreen that same movie in the White House theatre. . And that there Ivanka could be the cocktail waitress, ha ha ha! I think that would be the best way to  uh . . . resolve the situation.”


When asked to comment on what actually happened that night at the dirty theater, Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee had this to say, “I honestly don’t see anything to defend, the President is doing a great job and he is under a lot of stress. Let’s get real, he did what most men do when they are under stress, he went to a dirty theatre and he talked dirty to it. Bill Clinton did naughty things under the desk at the white house, our president has the decency to take it to the red light district, you know!"