Damien's Dungeon

 Damien Sauerbier

Damien Sauerbier lives in Tahoe City, CA. and is self-employed as an online merchant and retailer. He is an expert on horror movies with a focus on 1980s slasher movies.

He says that there is no movie too small for him, or too low budget for him to watch and that he is open to anything and everything.

Below are some of Damen Suerbier's best reviews. These were previously posted on Netflix.com, and Sauerbier was ranked among the top two percent of web reviewers for Netflix. Now, he is generous enough to donate some of these reviews for the fans here at www.cinegeoff.blogspot.com.

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* Films To Keep You Awake (Spain):  Possible spoilers; I saw this film on a double feature with the film The Baby's Room. I must say that The Baby's Room is one scary flick and definitely worth a view. As for To Let, it was by far the weaker of the two films and really seemed bad after watching the above mentioned film...



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Shadow:  Possible spoilers: A well acted foreign film involving an American Iraq war vet on leave in Europe. He meets a girl, pisses off some hunters and, they all end getting abducted by a possible NAZI with a penchant for torture. The torture ranged from being cooked alive skillet style to having ones eyelids removed. The ending was strange and gave the film a whole new perspective. Worth a watch on Instant View.......

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Visiting Hours:  Possible spoilers: I remember watching this film as a kid and liking it even though there isn't much gore. An attractive news reporter is attacked by an obsessed fan and taken to the hospital. Of course, he follows her there and the cat and mouse games ensue. The tension and suspense more than made up for the lack of kill scenes (only a couple of stabbings). I am pleased to say that I enjoyed it just as much in my recent viewing as I did when I was a kid...urs rated R:



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I, Madman:  Possible spoilers: "I, Madman" was hyped up way to much for the slasher letdown it was. Way to much character development and too little gore. The kill scenes were minimal and not worth writing about and the film just lagged. In my my opinion, I would pass on this one...


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Night Visitor (R): Possible spoilers: I remember seeing this film as a kid and not being very impressed. Unfortunately, I felt the same way viewing it again all these years later. Even worse, Shannon Tweed only has a small, fully clothed, role. A teacher in a Satanic cult and a nerd with a girlfriend that is way too hot to be dating a geek like him is what you will get when you rent this film. Some 80's B movie fanatics might go crazy and trash this review but, unless you are one of them stay away from this waste of time. This film is a sad reminder of how the bad the horror genre became as the 80's played out...





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I spent 5 minutes lying totally still for the filming of "Gettysburg" when I was 16.  Shot in road so there was cameras on either side of me and a little flying one above so for 5 whole minutes I had to breathe so shallow as to not move anyting.  said any movement and we ruin a perfect death scene.  5 minutes seemed like 5 years and of course bugs are on you and you itch from the wool uniforms...  yes.  Movie making is long hard hours of tedious work like doing a battle where you are given a number and it means either killed, wounded, shell shocked or fine, and spend the day marching falling down "CUT, Beautiful!!! Perfect.... Let's do it again."  A battle with no gun shots or anything

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Harpoon: (Whale Watchers Massacre)...Possible spoilers: 3.5 stars. An above par slasher film from Iceland that stars the legendary Gunner Hansen. A group of whale watchers are steered off course then stranded when the captain is accidentally killed. They think they are being rescued when a large antiquated whaling ship appears but, the inbred family/crew of this grimy vessel are far more interested in butchering and eating them than saving them. The kill scenes were well done and include a hammer embedded in a woman's face, decapitated with a hatchet, double impalement with a rusty harpoon, being shot with a harpoon the left to swing from the bow of the ship, burned alive and several other very creative kill scenes I will not spoil. There is some subtitles but the movie is in English for the most part. The only part of this film that I felt was unnecessary was the whale at the end but, the Japanese woman more than made up for that. She was one cold and calculating woman. if you like clever horror films and don't mind low budget films, then you should check this one out. A MUST FOR THE SLASHER FAN!!!




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Fangoria's Dark House: Possible spoilers: A creative and well intended supernatural slasher. Some actors return to the site where a bunch of orphans were massacred to turn it into a "house of horrors". Little do they know that the house has plans for them as well. The kill scenes were well done and include being impaled on nails, put into an Iron Maiden, head exploded, cut up and, a few others I will save for you. Overall, this film was much better than I expected. 3.5 stars...

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THE STITCHER:  Possible spoilers: A well intended slasher that just didn't have the budget to pull it off. Had they spent around $200,000.00 on gore and production qualities there might have actually been a decent slasher here. The thought is there just no money and sub par acting. The killer is clad in rags and likes to sew buttons on himself after every kill. The kill scenes were a knifing with an Indian Kukri knife (sort of like a boomerang shaped blade). I did keep this film an extra day just to finish it and write an accurate review. I, personally, could not recommend this film to anyone...


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Ghost House Productions, PSYCH 9: Possible spoilers: I found this film to be a bit confusing. Is she the killer? Is it a ghost? Is she crazy or is the hospital really haunted? To many questions for me. The hospital they used as their file location was excellent. It really gave you a creepy, dreadful feeling. Cary Elwes did a great job as "The Psychologist". Worth a rent if you try not to dissect it. NOT A SLASHER...  (2010)...




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The Summer of the Massacre (2008)Saving.
Possible spoilers: An ultra low budget, British rip off of "A Texas Chainsaw Massacre". The only difference is this killer looked like he weighed 120 pounds and used a hammer a his killing tool.h Personally, is some dude was swinging a hammer at me, I throw a rock at his head and jump him. They did this like six times and every time left alive to continue the chase. It got to the point of being redundant. Not worth your time and the cover art is misleading as there was never one edged weapon used in this travesty


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Serial Killing 101 (2004)
Possible spoilers: A mildly entertaining dark comedy about a teen that wants to become a serial killer to impress a girl. There are no real kills scenes as this is a comedy not a horror movie. Thomas Haden Church was great as the gym teacher and had me laughing several times pole smoking, Playgirl subscribing, sissy was by far my favorite line in the entire film. A fun change of pace from the usual splatter flick I watch and review. If you go into this film knowing that it is a dark comedy and not even close to a horror film, then I think you might find this one to be an amusing view...


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Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005).
Possible spoilers: A low budget film with a laughable plot that's only saving grace was its graphic kill scenes. Some teens accidentally free the gold seeking spirit of the pirate that is named in the title. What made this film stand out was the graphic kill scenes involving a large rapier ( long bladed, curved sword used by sailors). There are people being impaled, split in half and, all are beheaded. You also get to see someone get there arm ripped off then beaten with it. Not much of a plot and a very weak ending but, so much over the top gore that it definitely lived up to the Massacre part of its title. Slasher fans should watch this film for the kill scenes alone.......


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THE CONJURING (2013)  This is a supernatural horror film that was about an hour too long.  The house is haunted we get it.  The beginning had little to do with the rest of the film. Sadly after the third or fourth    supernatural scare or a person being  tossed around by an angry witch spirit, you become desensitized and wonder why the family doesn't just leave.  There are no deaths and not enough real scares to keep my attention.  Horror enthusiasts will be let down yet again...


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DEAD TEENAGERS (2006)Possible spoilers: This collection of disjointed horror shorts had a bit of everything except Dead Teenagers. A very misleading title for this sad failure. It looks as if it was shot on some ones cell phone. The stories would end suddenly and really leave you wondering what the point of the story was to begin with. Take my advice and skip this travesty of a horror movie...


Please stay tuned for more of Damien's take on the world of horror and some of his favorite quotes. Until then, whether you're shooting on a cell phone or a Red cam, he dares you to scare him . . .







2 comments:

  1. Hey is that Charlize Theron in the whaler one? That one looks awesome I would like to watch that movie!

    ReplyDelete

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