State of The Cine Union with Pinterest Roundup

By Geoffrey  Altrocchi
Well, this summer has seen a whole lot of nothing from the Silver Screen, if we don’t say so our Cine selves . . .
As Spring came to an end, we saw full-time Scientologist and part-time actor Tom Cruise's career careen into Oblivion as Morgan Freeman camped up the second half of what started out as a decent movie.
Then, we saw a hungover ensemble be a distant memory of them old selves in Hangover 3. While Fast and Furious 6 did actually manage to impress (with Paul Walker doing some more walking) and got a "Drag Up" rating from Cinegeoff regular Shelbe Chang, much of the rest of the summer has been a rambling mess of shambles . . .
The summer’s most redeeming movie so far, Pacific Rim, by Mexican ultra geek boy Guillermo Del Toro impressed a lot of people but got smashed in just its second week financially by Grown Ups 2 – starring comic actors David Spade, Kevin James, Chris Rock and Hollywood comedy powerhouse Adam Sandler.
Worth noting that Sandler was fresh off winning a 2013 Raspberry Award for worst acting of the year for his portrayal of a dead- beat dad in “That’s My Boy”. But, for all intensive purposes, Grown Ups 2 was fairly well received, which means that, well, maybe Americans just simply love to laugh. . .  
Hugh Jackman just starred in his fifth movie as Wolverine. This was the second movie where Wolverine was the title character. And for all intensive purposes, the 44-year-old Jackman looked just as muscle-bound and pissed off as he did in the very first X-Men filmed years ago. A lesser actor would have been replaced by Channing Tatum by now, but Jackman has held a firm hold on this role.
Speaking of firm holds, this Aussie heart throb was warding off rumors that he was gay during the Oscar race after turning in a great performance in the musical “Les Miserables”. Alert readers will note that Jackman spends about as much time on Broadway as he does Hollywood and that he does as many meat-head roles as he does sophisticated ones.
Does this make Wolverine gay? Who knows, but Wolverine could be used as a kinky nickname on either side of the fence. . .
Speaking of kinky, Ultimate Hollywood Player Jennifer Anniston will star as a stripper in the upcoming “The Millers” - excuse me as I and millions of other guys my age check that off my fantasy list from Friends days. . . .
Speaking of people who can't control their fantasies - Channing Tatum is in every single movie. This is a strong argument that maybe Gay men still control Hollywood.
While Channing Tatum is seemingly an OK guy. . . this is getting obnoxious. In the last five cine months, Channing Tatum has saved the world(White House Down), stripped down to bikini briefs (Magic Mike) and played a prison bird(Side Effects). I know there is some director out there who would love to have Channing Tatum do all those things in the same movie – maybe in another Hollywood remake like Cabarat. Tatum could play the emcee and Lindsay Lohan could be Sally . . .
Speaking of Lohan . . . The Canyons has had divisive receptions. . . . some hate the Paul Schrader-directed movie that also stars porn star James Deen. . . and others think it’s perfect for the time and Lohan’s image. Will it kickstart a second career for this damaged once Disney sweetheart? Cinegeoff’s official opinion is that Hollywood is a family and families never stop loving their kids and there will always be room here for Lindsay Lohan, no matter how badly she’s messed up.
Indeed, the summer has been a little strange but the fall promises some interesting things such as Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence in hideous late 70s garb in American Hustle. Oh yeah, Jeremy Renner gets to play the mayor of Newark in this movie directed by Silver Linings Playbook director David O Russel.
Also, Meryl Streep setting herself up for another Oscar as an alcoholic, drug addicted mother who ruins the lives of many. Street is a brunette in this movie, and at some point in the Julia Roberts tackles her as Ewen Mcgregor watches on . . .
And of course there is another installment of the Hobbit in the oven with Evangeline Lily not looking Lost at all with her pointy ears and bow and arrow . ..  .
Ron Howard directed a movie about a Formula One race car driver and industry insiders say that there is a very expressive and tawdry sex scene in this movie with Thor actor Chris Hemsworth and a beautiful female co-star.
Dear Ron Howard,
     Looks like you're finally turning into a dirty old man, what took so long?
Signed,
Woody Allen.
Speaking of Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine also does seem to be a winning movie from Woody Allen who seems to be peaking in his seventies. Also, The Way Way Back . . . alert members of social media are already privy to the twitter campaign that has  started to nominate Sam Rockwell for an Oscar nod as a slacker Water park owner in this movie. Cinegeoff’s opinion is any time you outshine Toni Colette in a movie – don’t look back.  
There is also a teen romance out that should be interesting, and as we experience the last days of Nelson Mandela in real life, a fiery political movie with Idris Elba as Mandela is set to come out some time in the fall. Speaking of African Americans in cinema, Ohpra and Tyler Perry have teamed up once again with "The Butler" - apparently a true story about a butler who saw history develop from within the walls of the White House.
In other news, resident Cinegeoff contributor Ty Mclemore is on special assignment in San Bernadino where he is working on the real dish, inside story about the beginnings of McDonalds. Jealousy, intrigue, deception and probably sex and lies at some point, you guessed it- the beginnings of the Mcdonalds has many of the same underpinnings and beginnings as other famous American franchises, including Cinegeoff.
In other Cine Geoff news Shelbe Chang showed producer skills with her first ever episode of Transflix, which focused on Wolverine. Next up- Jobs -the most intellectual Ashton Kutcher has seemed since . .  .um . . .
Other than that, catch up with Cinegeoff podcasts on Soundcloud, which focus on the real, the surreal and the unbelievable and thank you for watching, reading and clicking.
Sincerely,
Geoffrey Altrocchi


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1 comment:

  1. Where's the state of the union for 2014 and 2105?!

    ReplyDelete

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