Lebron James in "Reestablished 2014"

Director:

Lead Actors: Lebron James

Producer

Plot Synopsis
The camera takes us into working-class Akron as the piano from Hozier's (new) and earthly spiritual "Take Me to Church" slowly starts growing in the background. 

We see parts of Akron, construction, demolition, working people.


Then we see Demi-God Lebron James humbly walk back into his high school, where, even then, he established himself as a nationally recognized basketball legend.


In a scene ripped almost directly from the Gene Hackman movie "Hoosiers", he looks from the free throw line to the hoop, and most likely realizes that the distance from floor to rim is still 10 feet, the same as it has always been. 

The same 10 feet it has been as James, like a young soldier plucked from a small village  to fight foreign wars for the Roman army, has been slashing and dashing and dunking and blocking for the Miami Heat.

This is a team he himself decided to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers for and leave his home state of Ohio to fend for itself so many years ago. If you are familiar with the story, the piano chords and stark shots of parts of Ohio outsiders never see are that more meaningful.

Hozier chants "Amen, Amen" as James hits the weight room. James, a talented player and one of the best to ever play in the NBA, is possibly best known for his God-like physique and muscle structure. 

A comparison between him and NBA greats from the 80s would show how much stronger he probably is than most of his fellow hall-of-famers.

And of course, in the new NBA, is that much more important as the sport becomes more about contact, grit, fighting skills and brute strength than it is finesse. 

Perhaps a 1980s version of this commercial would show Lebron polishing his three-point shooting skills with a dozen basketballs at his side.

But no, this ad focuses on the immediacy of the approaching season and the need to get back into fighting shape.

Throughout everything James' face remains a humble expression.

James then transitions to flipping a tractor tire, for yet more upper-body strength.

As he does this, we hear a woman's voice, most likely James' mother, saying "don't ever forget where you came from", good advice in any context unless you are a spy in a Quentin Tarantino movie and how you signify you want three drinks could mean the difference between life and death!

Who Would Like it and Why
Basketball fans obviously. Anyone familiar with James' journey. Also, anyone disgusted with free agency and the fact that most players don't even manage to keep the same job with the same professional basketball team for one season, let alone play in a town that is anywhere close to where they live or grew up.

In fact, some basketball players commute half way across the country to attend practice!

What makes James' journey unique though in this author's mind is the fact that he started playing in Akron, Ohio, which is also where he grew up. 

Then, when he was drafted, he was drafted to the Cavaliers, that region's professional team. It was there that he stayed for several years before he requested to be traded to the Miami Heat,famously, or infamously taking his talents to south beach.

This move was met with the ire of all of Ohio. Jerseys were burned, James was cursed by all and by some reports, his life was in danger.

Now, after several seasons in Miami, two of them championship -winning, the last one a bitter loss to the San Antonio Spurs for the title, he is back. Ever the prodigal son.

I felt this commercial, albeit designed to promote headphones and miniature beat "pills", seemed to capture the goodness and hope and humanity in Lebron James' decision to go back to Ohio.

This is important because the United States' three main sports are decaying due to greed and lack of education and refinement in the players who are becoming drafted at younger and younger ages and developed only for their skills and not for character. 

In this author's opinion, by moving back to his hometown while he is still in his prime as a player, showed calculations that possibly came more from Lebron's heart more than they did his Endorsement and Marketing Manager.

That, and Hozier's heartfelt song, make this commercial, albeit a plug for another product, kind of nice.

Who Might not Like it and Why
Straight dudes skittish about shirtlessness.

I felt there was a little too much shirtlessness for a commercial about a sports figure most likely aimed at straight males between the ages of 18 and 34.

Highlights/Top Scenes
There's a lyric about "straighten my knife" that comes up as Lebron is working his triceps in the weight room, it seemed to work well visually, evern though it endorse the showing of way too much adult male skin!


Three Mike and Ikes

Stand Up Comedy Review: Chris D'Elia

This will be a unique review in which I review a rising stand-up comedy star in Los Angeles, by the name of Chris D'Elia. People will know him by his show, "Undateable", on NBC, which is directed by Fred Savage from "The Wonder Years".

I first became aware of Chris D'Elia at a "Comedy Juice" at The Improv on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles, CA. I had free tickets that I got online. Other people who were there were paying $15 per ticket. I was lucky to get the free tickets and this was a way for The Improv to fill seats.

So, I went with my friend and what we stumbled into was some sort of open mic for the stars wherein Dane Cook, Chris D'Elia, Joe Rogan, Whitey Cummings and Neal Brennan were performing. I would say that of all these people, Chris D'Elia was the most intriguing. I had never seen him before.

When I first got to the Improv, I was waiting at the bar area, where I guess he was doing an earlier show and I could watch him on the monitor. He made some crack about "You know when you get to work and you're just like eh . . . , well that's how I feel right now . . . "

Turns out that's how he starts every show as if to tell his audience that he's just sort of winging it, I guess. Far be it from me to try to get into a comedian's head, especially if their name is Bill Cosby.

Anyway, back to D'Elia. He wears a t-shirt and jeans mostly and has long hair  and a beard. One who has spent too much time in West Hollywood can tell that D'Elia works out, as does Dane Cook, which sets a weird standards for these younger comics. Comics are usually supposed to destroy their bodies, are they not?!

Anyway, Chris, who I've seen about four times now at the Improv, and I can't remember signing any disclaimers not to talk about him, unlike for some of the other shows that I've been to. 

Anyway, so Chris D'Elia's rant goes along the lines of how soft he is and how many regrets he has about not being hard and then he launches into a bit about being around little kids and how much they open up your heart. I found it intriguing and funny, and D'Elia's caricatures of little kids and Tupac are really good and endearing!

Most notable though about D'Elia is his energy. A few weeks later I saw him follow Rob Scheider of SNL fame, and Schneider, albeit a comedy legend for his movie roles such as Deuce Bigalow, was a little wobbly doing stand up comedy. He had a notebook and was quiet and weird and still funny. Buuut, Chris followed him and brought the energy right back up without insulting Rob.

I happened to be sitting near the row on that show and when D'Elia was going to the stage, his brow was furrowed and he was deep in thought, not the cocky bearded dude you see on stage. This is how I would expect a real writer to look.

Anyway, if you read the LA  Weekly, you will notice that Chris is everywhere, including the Palladium and The Wiltern. Is it possible that he's the new white big thing in comedy. Is it ironic at all that he is doing stand up with Dane Cook?

In fact, when this blogger got up to go the bathroom another night, Cook and D'Elia were both sitting next to each other chatting about stand up comedy when I went into the bathroom. Perhaps they are partners in crime.

How do other comics feel about D'Elia? Will they hate him like they hate Dane Cook?! Not sure, I don't spend that much time around working comics, unfortunately.

Anyway, just know that D'Elia is a comer, not a blower, and that his energy is great and you should take every opportunity you can to watch him for a bargain, otherwise you may end up having to spend about $200 on him!

Katy Perry's "Dark Horse"

IS Katie Perry the most powerful woman in pop music today? Well, most likely the real queen of musicland is sitting in some high-rise office building, she is some high-achieving, business-skirt wearing executive in her 50s.

But, on the surface, pop music is arguably ruled by the quirky Perry who has marched to the tune of her own drummer right up to the top of the billboards, time and time again.

In Perry's latest project, "Dark Horse," we meet Queen Perry in Ancient Egypt, striking poses and wearing outfits crazy enough to get the attention of Cleopatra herself. As in life, she employs legions of strong men who would let her walk across their backs on a rough patch of trail. In this video, these men are painted blue. An homage to her Smurfs 2 performance?

Perry first sits in the middle of a lavish boat being rowed by servants, then she sits and holds court at her throne in the desert. Again, she is surrounded by servants who are still painted blue but this time wearing golden calf masks.

Throughout the video, admirers come from all around to honor Perry and shower her with gifts. As soon as they do, Perry reduces them to sand with her special powers.


"So if you want to play with my jig, boy you should know what you're falling for,
Baby if you dare to do this, cuz I'm coming at you like a dark horse," Perry warns.

What is she saying? Who is this meant for?

Hard to say. This video is about as literal as her video for California Gurls, in which Snoop Doggy Dog and his gummy bear soldiers imprison Perry's friends with candy and it's up to Perry to set them free. When they are all free, Perry shoots whip cream out of her bra. Not exactly as linear as a video to an Aerosmith ballad.

But...who cares!? Katy's hot, the music is good, and her sets, whether live or video, are always bright, lively and vibrant.

Is Katy, in this video, describing her tumultuous relationships with men? Her most recent playtoy from her stable has been singer John Mayer.

Is she issuing a warning to MAJOR PLAYER MAYER who goes through women quicker than he does guitar strings to not break her heart? Is she saying she's as dangerous as any player? What is the penalty for cheating on or otherwise humiliating Perry?

To answer this question we tried to locate comedian and former Perry fiancee Russel Brand, who could not be fished out of obscurity by press time.

Who knows! An analytical mind could get stuck on these videos and songs for decades, but then they would be missing the point - it's Katy -and to be taken as such.

It's better to pay attention to the music and how it makes you feel. Does Katy's music make you want to move? Do people scream when it her songs come on at a club? Do you find yourself driving around your block one more time if one of her songs come on the radio as you're pulling in to your parking spot? Check, check and triple check with this hitmaker of infinite power.

"Dark Horse" is supposed to take place in "Memphis, Egypt a crazy long time ago". Historians would be quick to point out that in the "crazy long time ago" period, there was no Memphis Egypt, but there we go again. . . 

Latest Episode of Cinegeoff Podcast Sees Spike In Listeners, According to Donald Trump.

On Novermber 15, 2016 Ty Mclemore and Geoffrey Altrocchi - the creators, sponsors, producers, fathers, mothers and main contributors of the Cinegeoff Podcast - recorded an episode entitled,  “How Trump outmaneuvered the Left and the Media to Win”, which can be found here: https://soundcloud.com/tyster66/111516-how-trump-outmaneuvered-the-left-and-the-media-to-win.

This was, of course, recorded just a week after Donald Trump beat out Hillary Clinton, Jill Stein, Gary Johnson and other candidates to become the 45th President of the United States.

Word came into Cinegeoff headquarters this week that the main subject of that Podcast, Trump himself, had listened to the podcast and was ECSTATIC over it. This was confirmed by various sources close to the Cinegeoff Podcast.

When asked what he thought of being the main subject of that particular episode, which in the past has focused on anything from Justin Beiber to the Occult, Trump responded:

“It’s great, just great! Quite possibly the best podcast . . . ever. .  .. “ Trump bellowed. “They chose a very timely and poignant topic! These two have their heads on tighter than the nambi pambi liberal media. They actually have something to say!”

When asked if he thought the podcast would attract thousands of listeners, Trump said, “Indeed. it will get at least a million. In fact, it already it has!” When asked if he could provide circumstantial proof, he deferred the question over to Press Secretary Sean Spicer, who reiterated that it had.

When asked for proof, Spicer signaled that he had a timely appointment and sunk into a bush in the rose garden.

Back at Cinegeoff headquarters, Geoff was lifting weights and Ty was honing his knife-throwing skills. The two basked in what was clearly an imaginary audience of over a million listeners.

“If we actually had that many listeners,” Altrocchi said between reps, wiping sweat off of his brow, “we would have sponsors, our own studio, T-shirts and be vying to land on a major network!”

“Indeed,” McLemore said, while wiping the perspiration off of Geoff’s chest. “That was just Trump sounding his own horn, but we were certainly flattered that HE was flattered!”

The Cinegeoff Podcast

Dear listeners of the Cinegeoff Podcast,
     Thank you for your support. The creators of the Cinegeoff Podcast, namely Ty Mclemore and Geoffrey Altrocchi, put a lot of work and thought into the Cinegeoff Podcast. Sometimes we don't get to talking about all the ideas that we want to talk about. The ideas listed below are some suggestions meant to jump start a discussion, as to what we should talk about next. If you have an opinion or want to hear us to talk about something in particular, please comment below, e-mail us at cinegeoff@gmail.com, or call us at 1(323)606-1318.

We try to be timely, but we have to always be interesting!

Possible Topics To Be Covered:

1. Flooding in Los Angeles.

2. What happened with all the floods in Los Angeles? Interstate 5, one of the most important Interstates in Los Angeles, and THE most important artery for transportation in Los Angeles, was shut down because of flooding. Two people died because they drove into a flood in Victorville. One man died because he was stalled in a flood, and then electrocuted by a downed power line.
     Huge engineering weaknesses in the Los Angeles roads were revealed during the flooding on Friday. Who is to blame? Garcetti? (who by the way is up for reelection). Chris Christie?

3. Why aren't there better jokes about Harrison Ford's almost crashing into a commercial flight? Who is to blame?

4. Trump's rally in Melbourne, Fla. How many mullets did you spot?

5. What the heck is Justin Beiber up to?

Possible Guests
6. I want to talk to whoever it was who organized the march in downtown LA about immigration on Saturday.

7. Han Salo dishes on all things star wars, and also how modern bathrooms bother him! And also the difference between Science Fiction and Fantasy, and his review of the Slave Leia bikini, as well as how he really felt about Chewie, and how he dealt with the smell on intergalactic journeys with his wookie companion, and how badly he wanted to punch those Ewoks. Also, what he thought about the Ewok music!

8. Lando Calrissian, his tell-all interview and how he felt like he was singled out a lot even in a galaxy far far away, a long time ago. What it's like being black and being pulled over in space.  His advice for black drivers and his opinion of the black rights movement, also, his opinion on whether Key and Peele stole from Dave Chapelle. Also, his opinion on Avacadoes and whether or not they are too fattening.
     Also, how he had to take out a huge storage space just to store his female fan letters, and how he felt about the slave Leia bikini and how Leia actually hit on him a lot when the cameras weren't around.  Also, he admits how did actually punch many ewoks in the face when people weren't looking, and why shouldn't he?!

8. Need to review the new King Kong movie.