A Quiet Place

Director:
John Krasinski

Lead Actors: Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds


Producer: Michael Bay


Plot Synopsis:
This movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic setting. While that is nothing new for television shows and movies these days, this particular version of the end of the world is quite unique. In this setting, one cannot make a sound, or they will be swept up, crushed and devoured by giant monsters, immediately. Amidst this tension, the Abbots, a family of five with one on the way, try to survive. 

Who Would Like it and Why
This movie will have mass appeal. It goes beyond just horror. I think it can be classified more as a thriller.  Since much of the story is about the family and their dynamic, this movie can be recommended to a larger swath of people.

Who Might not Like it and Why
The premise is grim and there is real loss. Although very well played, each family member deals with real grief and loss in their own way.


Highlights/Top Scenes
The family's ability to adapt to this dangerous world and still survive is one of this movie's key points. Th

They fish for food. They go to waterfalls to talk and even yell. They knit small board pieces for Monopoly that don't make any sounds.

There is also a quite beautiful scene from the top of the family's corn seed Sai, where Lee burns a fire as night falls, and he looks around and sees similar fires burning all around him: signs of human survival.

These beautiful scenes are of course the handy work of first time director John Krasinski. He shows a deft and sensitive touch.

Also worth noting is the acting of Millicent Simmonds, who is deaf in real life. She does a tremendous job with her role and is a definite highlight in the movie.

Emily Blunt as an attentive and doting mother, a grieving mother, a mother who would literally go through hell to give birth to her baby, and then a mother who would do anything to protect her brood was nothing short of magnificent. She is mesmerizing to watch but also very believable.

Three Mike and Ikes

Sean Hannity and Trump Save America

It started off a beautiful Sunday filled with God and America.

President Donald Trump was at the Mira Lago Resort in Palm Beach, Florida, golfing with Rush Limbaugh and Ted Nugent. Fox News conservative talk show host Sean Hannity was close behind, as he was caddying for all three men..

The men were having fun smoking their cigars and telling each other exactly how and by what body part they grab the opposite sex.

Donald Trump’s secret service was close behind, and Rush Limbaugh’s private security guards were behind them.

The men felt safe though, because Ted Nugent wore his trusty crossbow on his back. 

They joked that with the cross on his back, and with his long hair, Ted Nugent looked like Jesus Christ.

They all had a good solid laugh about hat, but Nugent felt it necessary to remind the other two men that he was unlike Christ their savior in one very important way: if he had been beaten half to death, and then nailed on a cross and left to die, he would have come back from the dead, gone right to his weapons bunker, and he would have unleashed holy hell on all of Rome, exercising his second amendment rights.

“OK, Ted, OK!”, Trump said, winking at Limbaugh. Limbaugh was laughing hardily because usually he was the one who was talking too much.

“Hey Ted, pass me your flask, I need to take some more medication,” Limbaugh said. “How much medication are you on, Rush? Do you have prescriptions for all of those?!” Trump asked. “I will let you see my prescriptions if you show me your tax returns Mr. President!”

On that, both men let out uproarious laughter. Limbaugh took Nugent’s Moose-hyde, camouflaged flask and took a swig and washed down about a dozen assorted pills. He started coughing. “Jesus Ted, what do you have in there? I was going to drink a liberal amount, but instead I found it taxing,” Limbaugh said.

“Oh this?!” Nugent said, stroking the flask. “My friend, you just drank the tears of high school shooting survivors!”

There was a pause as Limbaugh looked at Trump as if to say, “this guy is too much, right?! Even for us!”

“HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?!” Hannity said about 100 yards away, trudging forward with three golf bags strapped around him.

“He’s cute, right?!” Trump said to Limbaugh as they gazed upon Hannity in a sort of father-like way.

“Oh he’s adorable. You know he is a rescue right?!” Limbaugh said. They both fist-pounded each other.

“Just look at that bushy hair do, even as it grays. I love to just put him in a head- lock and say ‘come here you!’ after he plugs my program on Fox News!” Limbaugh continued.

“I do the same thing every time he gives me positive press!” Trump said.

“I am so used to the hunting ritual of putting deer urine on my major glands, I do it even when I am not hunting,” Nugent said, not really to anyone in particular.

All the sudden, as Trump went to raise his eyebrows again at Rush Limbaugh, the golf cart the men were using, which was a few feet up behind them, blew up!

Both forces of Secret service, the public and the private, immediately went into action, but just as they did, each one of them was picked off by a far-off sniper, their heads exploding in a bloody mess. Nugent grabbed his cross bow and started firing wildly.

As he did so, Trump, Limbaugh and Hannity ran over to the bodies of the Secret Service men and grabbed their guns. Trump looked to Sean Hannity and asked, “what’s going on?!” “I don’t know, sir, we’ve been attacked!”

Hannity loaded his gun with the gusto and accuracy of a character in a Tom Clancy novel. “Do you know how to operate one of those things?!” Trump asked. “I am licensed in five different states sir!” Hannity said, smiling to the President.

Trump reached over and rubbed Hannity’s bushy hair as Hannity giggled.

“I’ll get us out of this mess sir!” Hannity said. Hannity grabbed both guns and flipped into action. As he flipped upwards, he was able to see two muslim-looking men wearing turbans with bazookas in their hands. Hannity took them out by firing two handguns in each hand.

He went over to one of the terrorists as they gasped for air: “Who do you work for, what is this?!” Hannity asked.

“I work for Hilary Clinton, death to America!” the man tried to spit but Hannity blew his brains out on the spot. “Nice shot,” Trump said. “I knew that b*$h was planning something!” Trump said. “Never trust a blonde sir! Come on, we gotta get you out of here, in to a bunker!”

Hannity said. Just then the four of them took fire. Nugent got hit in the nose, opening his nostrils even wider . Hannity ran out and rolled and got up and shot the sniper from 300 yards away, his extensive training becoming evident. “Amazing!” Trump said. Just then a turban-wearing, jihad embracing heedless sweaty Muslim man came running at Hannity with an Arabian sword.

As he did, Trump grabbed his gun and shot the man in the head. The man fell before Hannity. “It’s OK Hannity, I got your back,” Trump said. “Alright then sir, let’s get us out of here, America needs us!”

Trump and Hannity did an awkward first bump and just then the golf course flooded with hundreds and hundreds more Christian-hating muslims with machine guns. Hannity and Trump backed up into each other. Their backs locked, and their training kicking in, they swung around and started taking out each one of these guys with their hand guns, which seemed to have unlimited rounds.

“So glad they haven’t banned semi-automatic handguns yet!” Trump yelled, amid all the action.

By working as a tag team unit with their backs locked, Trump and Hannity were able to take out the hundreds of God-hating muslim attackers rapidly.

Blood flooded the golf course that Trump himself had designed. “You see how neatly the blood drains into the reservoirs no matter where it is? I designed that,”Trump said.

The last Christian-hating baseball-hating attacker lay, fatally wounded, staring to the skies, saying some incomprehensible muslim prayer. 

Trump, Hannity and Limbaugh, who had been hiding in the bushes, walked over to him. “Hey buddy, you tried to destroy America today, and you failed! I want you to have this hot dog, half eaten, I have in my pocket from before,” Hannity said.

Hannity grabbed the hot dog as Trump said, “You know what hot dogs are made of, don't you?”

“No,” the infidel said, sensing he was about to die.

“Pigs, assholes and America! Trump yelled as Hannity shoved the hot dog in the terrorist’s mouth.

The infidel choked on the long shaft and then shut his eyes and died. Hannity took off his shirt and wiped infidel blood and brains off his face.

“Do you think that’s all of them?” Hannity asked. “No, she’s here, I can smell her,” Trump said. “Look, over there, Hilary Clinton,” Limbaugh said pointing to a hill.

There was Hilary, her legs wrapped around a witch broom, shaking her fist. “I could have gotten away with this coup, if it weren’t for the marksmanship and bravery of Sean Hannity with the help of you, Trump! But, the resources of the Clinton Foundation are strong and vast, and we will - and strike again,” Hilary said, letting out a most maniacal witchy laugh and she sped off on her broom.

Trump, Hannity, Limbaugh and Nugent all fired at her, but missed. “She got away!” Nugent said.

“Yeah, but we’ll find her, and when we do, we’re going to take out all of our mistrust and anger towards women out on her!” Hannity said.

Trump looked at Hannity. “Hannity, if it weren’t for you, I would have died. You sir, are a great American!”

“NO SIR! YOU ARE A GREAT AMERICAN!” Hannity said.

“NO SEAN, YOU ARE A GREAT AMERICAN!” Trump said back.

“NO SIR, YOU ARE!” Hanity said. 

“Well, there’s no sense arguing, we are both great Americans. Sean, seeing how you performed today, I want to invite you to be my right-hand guy. This means you will be the Secretary of State, Chief of Staff, and National Security Advisor all rolled into one. Call Rupert Murdoch, tell him you won’t be in to work on Monday, if we’re going to save America from the Clinton Foundation and the liberals... we’ve got work to do.” 

“Aye aye sir,” Hannity said. Suddenly there was a long, loud panging sound.

“What in the sam hell is that?!” Limbaugh said with his hands over his ears.

“I don’t know, but it looks like we can all hear it,” Trump said. “Whatever happens Sean, I want you to know that….oh damn it all to hell!” Trump yelled and he reached out and grabbed Sean and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss.

Then, suddenly Hannity woke up to see his alarm clock. That was the panging, which meant it had all been a dream. 

Arguably the best dream of Sean’s life. Hannity looked around, then pressed snooze and went back to sleep.

Suddenly he was back at Mira Lago finishing his embrace with Donald Trump as Limaugh and Nugent looked on with jealousy. 

“Everyone has their time under the sun,” Limbaugh said, fuming. 

As Sean was struck with all sorts of feeling he was trying to deal with, he sensed two great shadows looming over them. He looked up and two men on horseback were looking over Hannity and his friends.

They turned sideways so Hannity could make out their faces in the sun. 

Why it was Ronald Reagan and John Wayne! John Wayne looked right at Sean and said, “Good job out there today, pilgrim. You fought like a man, not a lot of people know how to do that!” “Sean Hannity, you’re better than Jim Baker, I wish you would have been in the game when I was in charge, I would have made you my personal press secretary.” Hannity was a awestruck, this was the best day of his life!

John Wayne looked around and said, “gentlemen, it’s up to us to save America from the slippery grip of the lizardy liberals! It’s easy to kill a bunch of animals from the middle east, but it’s much harder to defeat the seductive, sexy liberals of the West. But we have to stay strong as a unit. Move in for a huddle…” BEH BEH BEH suddenly the loud panging began again. Hannity said, “Guys, I gotta go, but I’ll be back soon, and I will fight for everything we hold dear!” “You, Sean Hannity, are a great American!” they all said bac BEH BEH BEH

Topic Ideas For Cinegeoff Podcast

Inside the mind of a the Trump Supporter.

Trump's speeches and how effective they actually are.

Sanctuary cities.

The merits of a military parade.

Oscar Gowns.

Catching up with the Me Too movement.

Rhonda Roussey Says Goodbye to UFC and Hello to WWF.

Ugly Actor Disappointed Kevin Spacey Never Touched Him

Sean Hannity Gets Jealous Of "Liberal Fantasy, Whack Job, System-Draining, Job-Dodging, Draft-Dodging, Left-Leaning, Bullet- Dodging, Mamma's Boy, Fake, Delusional, Slick-Haired, Hollywood-Based Cinegeoff Podcast. Says They Probably Don't Know How to Fire a Gun Or Even Intimidate A Co Anchor With One".

Staunch Nationalist Donald Trump Dubbed America's Biggest Jewish Mother By Many Unofficial Sources

After United States President Donald Trump reached out to Chinese President Xi Jinping to free three UCLA basketball Freshman basketball players LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill who were being detained in China for allegedly shoplifting, he tweeted,

"Do you think the three UCLA Basketball Players will say thank you President Trump? They were headed for 10 years in jail!"

This statement alone confirmed what many had thought for a long time, that Donald Trump is many things, but he is also the world's biggest guilt-inducing, passive aggressive, attention-seeking Jewish grandmother.

"I love the Jews," Trump has been heard as saying several times before in his career.

Throughout his career and especially during his reign as the 45th Present of the United States, Donald Trump has gotten what he wants by making people guilty and making himself seem like the victim.

Cinegeoff Podcast Was Touched By: Harvey Weinstein

Crooked Hillary Really Loved Cinegeoff Podcast, Emails Show. .

The Candy Man, Beetle Juice, and Bloody Mary Just Got Together and Said "Cinegeoff Podcast" Three Times.

Trump's Late Night Heckling Gets Tepid Review From Sleazy Regulars

Patrons at a dirty theatre in a dirty part of town overheard President Donald Trump heckling a dirty film the other night. They were not necessarily impressed.

“I mean, I get the whole ‘locker room talk’ thing, I really do man, and I support it. But this was like at two in the morning, one guy had his johnson in his hand, another guy was making a squishy sound,” said a man in attendance who preferred anonymity.

“I look back and I see what very much looks like Donald Trump with his secret service in the third row from the back. I see him put some tic tacs in his mouth, and he starts swirling them around in his mouth, getting all worked up, you know. And he starts saying stuff like, “Yeah, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I’ll take you furniture shopping, I don’t care if you’re married, I really don’t.”

“Yeah, I get it, he’s the dirty, dirty president, period!” Said Bob Johnny Denesavich, another man in attendance who didn’t care if anyone knew his name.

“Party party! It’s cool, he’s always trying to be one of the guys, yahoo. But like, let me giz in some sort of serenity. But, if you are going to heckel a dirty movie, make it original!”

“I already knew that he got his rocks off taking married women furniture shopping and all that. Big whoop man, why don’t you take my ass shopping for some new clothes and a new apartment, you know, now that would be really hot! Otherwise, shut up!”

Another man was equally underwhelmed by the President’s appearance.  

“I know it sounds weird, but I am actually one of the ones who listens to the dialogue in these movies. It’s hard man. You wanna try writing a dirty movie?! I’ve tried it, It’s hard. Respect the writers. I’ll march in the writer’s strike, I was going to with the first writer’s strike, but they just simply didn’t tell me where it was going to be on time. .  .  “

All in all, Trump received a very tepid response to his heckling efforts at the theatre. Some of the patrons wanted their money back, but Devesavich had a better idea. “Yeah, why don’t he just invite everyone from the theatre that night and rescreen that same movie in the White House theatre. . And that there Ivanka could be the cocktail waitress, ha ha ha! I think that would be the best way to  uh . . . resolve the situation.”

When asked to comment on what actually happened that night at the dirty theater, Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee had this to say, “I honestly don’t see anything to defend, the President is doing a great job and he is under a lot of stress. Let’s get real, he did what most men do when they are under stress, he went to a dirty theatre and he talked dirty to it. Bill Clinton did naughty things under the desk at the white house, our president has the decency to take it to the red light district, you know!"

     

This Is Where I Leave You

Director: Shawn Levy

Lead Actors: Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, Timothy Oliphant, Adam Driver, Jane Fonda, Rose Byrne

Producer: Jesse Ehrman

Plot Synopsis
This movie is based on a novel by Jonathon Tropper, who also wrote the screenplay.

It follows the Altman family after the death of its patriarch. The four Altman siblings and their mother, played wonderfully by Jane Fonda, are left to deal with the aftermath, and each other. To complicate things, Fonda's Hilary Altman insists that the Altma's sit through the seven days of Shiva. She says it was her husband's dying wish.

Who Would Like it and Why
Fans of Tina Fey.

She is beginning to really turn in some huge performances that are more dramatic than comedic, and she's doing a great job at it.

Fans of Jason Bateman will enjoy another understated and subtle performance. I especially enjoyed a scene where he confronts his cheating wife against a back drop of fall colors. Fans of Timothy Olyphant. Olyphant shines here as a brain damaged friend of the family and former lover of Wendy.

Who Might not Like it and Why
The movie lacks focus and goes all over the place too often. The audience is asked to fall in love with a rabbi whom everyone refers to as "Boner" and was also a contemporary of the family, but his character is underdeveloped. There were enough plots and subplots for twenty movies here.

Highlights/Top Scenes
The acting was so strong for each character that I would gladly watch each character's story play out individually in more focused two-hour vignettes.

Dax Sheppard plays the man who cuckolds Bateman. This scene is probably one of the most intense in the whole movie, as Bateman's hearing goes out once he realizes what's happened.

The ice skating scenes with the beautiful Byrne are magical and hopefully another movie in and of themselves. I also enjoyed a site gag where Hilary Altman's boobs keep popping out of her dress while she makes Judd's bed with him.

Two Mike and Ikes.